Good laugh

Don't look at naked lady

Boy 1: Why do you run from a naked lady?
Boy 2: Because my mum said that if I look at a naked lady,  I'll turn into stone. A part of me is getting hard already.

Names of Wives
One man had 4 wives, so he called his
4th wife..... baby doll,
3rd wife ....china doll
2nd wife.....barbie doll
1st wife..... panadol

How India Got Its Name
This is how India got its name.....
The king was having sex with his mistress while thinking a name of his country and his mistress ask him "is it In Dear?".

Research Finding
Research shows men are fatter than women because every-night men get fresh milk & 2 big papayas while women only get 1 banana, 2 peanuts & 1 tea-spoon of starch

Meaning of Wife and Husband
W --- wonderful               H---- handsome
I  ---- item                        U --- useful
F ---  for                           S --- smart
E ---  entertainment         B --- but 
                                          A --- at
                                          N --- night
                                          D --- dangerous 

That Old Question But It ANSWER..

CHILD:  Dad, where did I come  from?
DAD   :    Okay,  we had to have this conversation some day!.. 
                Listen... Dad and mom met in a chat room on the net. I  set up a meeting  with  your mom  and we landed in the bathroom at the Cyber Cafe? Then, mom did  some downloads  from dads memory stick and when dad was ready to upload,  we discovered  that there was no firewall.  Seeing that it was a bit too late to cancel, I just carried on doing the upload. Nine months later,  the damn virus appeared!.  
CHILD:  Huh?

Everything is Less...

In 21st Century...

Our communication - Wireless
Our dress - Topless
Our telephone - Cordless
Our cooking - Fireless
Our youth - Jobless
Our food - Fatless
Our labour - Effortless
Our conduct - Worthless
Our relation - Loveless
Our attitude - Careless
Our feelings - Heartless
Our politics - Shameless
Our education - Valueless
Our follies - Countless
Our arguments - Baseless
Our boss - Brainless
Our Job - Thankless
Our Salary - Veryless

Everything comes Less

In 21st Century...

Our communication - Wireless
Our dress - Topless
Our telephone - Cordless
Our cooking - Fireless
Our youth - Jobless
Our food - Fatless
Our labour - Effortless
Our conduct - Worthless
Our relation - Loveless
Our attitude - Careless
Our feelings - Heartless
Our politics - Shameless
Our education - Valueless
Our follies - Countless
Our arguments - Baseless
Our boss - Brainless
Our Job - Thankless
Our Salary - Veryless

The Difference Between Heaven & Hell

Heaven is when you have:

1. An American Salary
2. A British Home
3. Chinese Food
4. A Swiss Economy
5. An Italian Body
6. A Japanese Technology
7. An African Tool
8. An Indian Wife

 

Hell is when you have:

1. An American Wife
2. A British Body
3. A Chinese Tool
4. A Swiss Food
5. An Italian Technology
6. A Japanese Home
7. An African Economy
8. An Indian Salary

 

Bees

A man was driving down the road and ran out of gas. Just at that moment, a bee flew in his window.

The bee said, 'What seems to be the problem?'
'I'm out of petrol,' the man replied.

The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his petrol tank. After a few minutes, the bees flew out.

'Try it now,' said one bee.

The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up. 'Wow!'

The man exclaimed, 'what did you put in my petrol tank'?

The bee answered,

 

 

 

(I see you smiling)

Four Proud Dads!!!

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest
room. Those who remained talked about their kids. The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday."

The second guy said, "Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, and then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his
birthday."

The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own
construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion."

The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?"

One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. What about your son?"

The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub."

The three friends said: "What a shame... what a disappointment."

The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him. And he hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends.

MORAL OF THE STORY.......
DISAPPOINTMENTS COME IN A VERY UNEXPECTED SITUATION...

They are all the same

One Chinese person walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.

Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbor, get out of here."

The astonished Chinese man replied "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbor , it was the Japanese".

"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.

In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says "You sank the Titanic; my forefathers were on that ship."

Shocked, Spielberg replies "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me."

The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."

This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition in Britain

Modern Wife

These are the type of women we should be marrying....

Modern women - so says the men?

It is a myth that when a son gets married and a new daughter-in-law arrives in the family, everything changes. Some daughters-in-law are well trained and well mannered....They don't come to change the family, they are here to... (READ ON!)

The new wife was being welcomed at the husband's home in a traditional manner. As expected she gave a speech;
"My dear family, I thank you for welcoming me in my new home and family, firstly, my being here does not mean that I would want to change your way of life, your routine ."No, I will never do that, never in a million years."

"What do you mean my child?" asked the father-in-law.
"What I mean dad is (looking at her in-laws);

Those who used to wash the dishes must carry on washing them.
Those who used to do the laundry must carry on doing it.
Those who cooked should not stop at my account, AND
Those who used to clean should continue cleaning!!!

"And what are you here for?" enquired the mother-in-law.
"AS FOR ME, I'M HERE JUST TO ENTERTAIN YOUR SON!!!!!"

Snacks of Humor

[1] You can become an engineer if you go to an Engineering college,
      But don't expect to be a President going to the Presidency College!

[2] Expect a BUS at a BUS Stop, but Don't expect a FOOL at FULLSTOP(.)

[3] A Mechanical engineer becomes a mechanic
     Then why not a software engineer become a software?

[4] Find keys in a Key board 
     But do not expect a mother in mother board.

[5] Study anything you want and get a certificate in subject of your studies
     But don't expect a death certificate studying "Dying and Death."

5 Don't When U are Sleeping......

1 DON'T SLEEP WITH WATCH
Watches can emit a certain level of radioactivity.
Though small, but if you wear your watch to bed for a long time, it might have adverse effects on your health.

2 DON'T SLEEP WITH BRA
Scientists in America have discovered those that wear bras for more than 12 hours have a higher risk of getting breast cancer.
So go to bed without it.

3 DON'T SLEEP WITH PHONE
Putting the phone beside your bed or anywhere near you is not encouraged.
Though some of us will use phones as alarm clocks, but please put the phone as far as possible.
Scientists have proved that electrical items including mobile phone and television sets emit magnetic waves when used.
These waves can cause disruptions to our nervous system.
Therefore if you need to put your mobile phone near you, switch it off first.

4 DON'T SLEEP WITH MAKE UP
People who sleep with make up might have skin problems in the long run.
Sleeping with make up will cause the skin to have difficulty in breathing and problem in perspiring.
You will also need a much longer time to go into deep sleep.

5 DON'T SLEEP WITH OTHERS' WIFE / HUSBAND
You may never wake up again.

18 Rules Between Men and Women

1. The Female always makes THE RULES.

2. THE RULES are subject to change without notice.

3. No Male can possibly know all THE RULES.

4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all THE RULES, she must immediately change some or all of THE RULES.

5. The Female is never wrong.

6. If it appears the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding caused by something the Male did or said wrong.

7. If Rule #6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.

8. The Female can change her mind at any given time.

9. The Male must never change his mind without the express, written consent of The Female.

10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female wants him to be angry or upset.

12. The Female must, under no circumstances, let the Male know whether she wants him to be angry or upset.

13. The Male is expected to read the mind of the Female at all times.

14. At all times, what is important is what the Female meant, not what she said.

15. If the Male doesn't abide by THE RULES, it is because he can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.

16. If the Female has PMS, all THE RULES are null and void and the Male must cater to her every whim.

17. Any attempt to document THE RULES could result in bodily harm.

18. If the Male, at any time, believes he is right, he must refer to Rule #5

Present for husband

A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session.

Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.

The wife answers : "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?"

The husband laughs and says: "An Italian girl !!!" The woman kept quiet and left.

Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: "So, honey, how was the trip?"

"Very good, thank you." "And, what happened to my present?"
"Which present?" She asked.

"The one I asked for - an Italian girl!!"

"Oh, that" she said "Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait for nine months to see if it is a girl !!!"

If Women Controlled the World...

The world will become like this ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

House of Celebrities

Whose house is the best???

Arnold Schwarzenegger

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Britney Spears

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Calvin klein

 

 

 

 

 

 

Celine  Dion

 

 

 

 

 

Elton John

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

George Michael

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Madonna

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mariah Carey

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Michael  Jackson

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Michael Jordan

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Michael Schumacher

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mike Tyson

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pete Sampras

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Phil Collins

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ronaldo

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is mine under construction... Please help...!!!

What is marketing?

You see a handsome guy at a party and you go up to him and say "I'm fantastic in bed.
~That is Direct marketing~

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy and one of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says "She's fantastic in bed".
~That is Advertising~

You see a handsome guy at a party, then you got up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed".
~That is telemarketing~

You're at a party and see a handsome guy, you get up and straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I" and reach up to straighten his tie brushing yourself slightly against his arm and then say "by the way, I'm fantastic in bed".
~That is Public Relations~

You're at a party and see a handsome guy he walks up to you and says "I hear you're fantastic in bed".
~That is "Brand Recognition"~

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You talk him into going home with your friends.
~That is a Sales Rep~

Your friend cant satisfy him so he calls you.
~That is Tech Support~

You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be a handsome men in all these houses you're passing. So you climb onto the roof of one situated toward the center and shout at the top of your lungs. "I'm fantastic in bed!"
~That's Spam~

Funny Pictures

Hope that these pictures can make you laugh and start your day with a smile! Enjoy your day, enjoy your life! Make everything possible with just a smile! :)

If I am Rich...

I will buy Moonlight














My bedroom will have a window which can look for the world

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My pet with the diamond teeth.

 

 

 

 

My pretty servant always ready

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My glass made only by original diamond

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If I have time, I will play golf on the boat

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My security for 24 hours

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Only spring water from the Himalayas to flush my toilet

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Toilet paper

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My swimming pool can only fill in with expensive perfume

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Only a professional can wash my car which was gold plated

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My laptop with diamond edging and has Intel Pentium IX with RAM 30Gbyte

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My traveling car

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My holiday house