Funny Marriage

Wife: What are you doing?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing ...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour !
Husband : I was looking for the expiry date.

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Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure ! What are my choices ?
Wife : Yes and no.

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Wife: You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why ?
Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible,
I look at your picture, and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you ?
Hubby: Yes! I see your picture and ask myself ---
what other problem can be greater than this one ?

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Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your
worries, troubles and lighten your burd! en.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet !

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Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning,
he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

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A newly married man asked his wife
" Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune ? "
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly,
" I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE ! "

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Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: Thanks for the early warning.

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A wife asked her husband:
What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?
He looked at her from head to toe and replied:
I like your sense of humor.