Funny Jokes

1. Girl:   Will you love me after marriage also? 
    Boy  :  This depends on your husband, if he allows me.

 

2. Doctor  : Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some
                   sleeping pills.
    Wife     : When must I give them to him?
    Doctor  : They are for you.

 

3. God saw me hungry, he created pizza .
    He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi  
    He saw me in dark, he created light .
    He saw me without problems, he created YOU.

 

4. The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic
    elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile 
    of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray "Take
    only one. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the
    other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A 
    child had written a note, " Take all you want. God is watching the 
    apples."

 

5. One Early morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him 
    up
    MOM : "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school."
    SON   : "But why, Mama? I don't want to go to school."
    MOM  : "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school."
    SON   : "One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate
                  me."
    MOM  : "Oh! that's not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school."
    SON   : "Give me two good reasons WHY I *should* go to school?"
    MOM  : "One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old and should understand 
                 your responsibilities.
                 Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the school.

 

6. What are the three fastest ways of communication?
    Three fastest means of communication in the world.
    Tele-phone
    Tele-vision
    Tell-a-woman.
    You still want faster?
    Tell her not to tell anyone :-)

 

7. A man is dying of Cancer.
    His son asked him, "Dad, why do you keep telling people you're dying
                                    of AIDS?"
    Answer:"So when I'm dead no one will dare touch your mom!"